Monday, December 25, 2006
Community taboo
In his blog last week, Yakov Horowitz brought up the important issue of sexual abuse in the community and announced that he was planning on partnering with Prof David Pelcovitz to create a pamphlet on this topic to distribute among parents. Horowitz was responding to a post by Sephardi Lady, who asked, among other things, about the role the school has in dealing with this. I cannot remember sexual abuse being discussed in any of the schools I attended and thinking about it now, I wonder at this. Surely the school has a role here. Perhaps it should be part of a health education curriculum, perhaps there should be informal discussions with a homeroom teacher. But if the school does not take an active role, how will a student know what constitutes abuse? How will a student feel comfortable coming forward if necessary? And as important, what does it say about the stance of the community at large if sexual abuse is taboo to discuss in our schools?
Labels: community, sexual abuse
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Thank you Chana for pointing me to your post on this important subject.
Surely the school has a role here.
I'd like to think the school has a role here also. I don't think Rabbi Horowitz disagrees, but there probably would be too much opposition and he is realistic by telling parents if you want to have the subject discussed, you will have to do it yourself.
Hopefully some parents will take it upon themselves to do so (I see no choice in the matter). But, I do know my parents were terrible uncomfortable with the subject matter and would have never brought it up.
Perhaps it should be part of a health education curriculum, perhaps there should be informal discussions with a homeroom teacher.
I attended public school and the presentations were never made by teachers, and always made by people from the local crisis center. In middle school and high school, the presentations were made during health class. In elementary, it was a special presentation.
My husband attended modern Orthodox day school and yeshiva and he cannot recall the subject ever being presented, although there was a discussion at the end of 12th grade presenting some of the basics of taharat hamishpacha.
I think it would be very uncomfortable to place the onus of discussion on homeroom teacher/Rebbe, especially without a formal curriculum. I think the subject matter would best be dealt with by someone with experience in the matter who is comfortable speaking about it and thinks it is important (maybe a frum physician).
Surely the school has a role here.
I'd like to think the school has a role here also. I don't think Rabbi Horowitz disagrees, but there probably would be too much opposition and he is realistic by telling parents if you want to have the subject discussed, you will have to do it yourself.
Hopefully some parents will take it upon themselves to do so (I see no choice in the matter). But, I do know my parents were terrible uncomfortable with the subject matter and would have never brought it up.
Perhaps it should be part of a health education curriculum, perhaps there should be informal discussions with a homeroom teacher.
I attended public school and the presentations were never made by teachers, and always made by people from the local crisis center. In middle school and high school, the presentations were made during health class. In elementary, it was a special presentation.
My husband attended modern Orthodox day school and yeshiva and he cannot recall the subject ever being presented, although there was a discussion at the end of 12th grade presenting some of the basics of taharat hamishpacha.
I think it would be very uncomfortable to place the onus of discussion on homeroom teacher/Rebbe, especially without a formal curriculum. I think the subject matter would best be dealt with by someone with experience in the matter who is comfortable speaking about it and thinks it is important (maybe a frum physician).
Issues such as this wre never discussed in school when I was growing up - mind you though, I don't think it was discussed in the wider society either.
When society begins to take these issues seriously they eventually filter down to the school system, and eventually into the Jewish school system.
It's a shame that it takes so long. With proper heatlth education, we could seriously protect our children, especially our daughters, not just from abus in the community but also from from the pressures society puts on them to dress, diet and behave in sexually provocative manners. We could give them the tools and skills to respect themsleves and to stand up against predators both from adults and their peers and the expectations that post-modernism asks of them.
When society begins to take these issues seriously they eventually filter down to the school system, and eventually into the Jewish school system.
It's a shame that it takes so long. With proper heatlth education, we could seriously protect our children, especially our daughters, not just from abus in the community but also from from the pressures society puts on them to dress, diet and behave in sexually provocative manners. We could give them the tools and skills to respect themsleves and to stand up against predators both from adults and their peers and the expectations that post-modernism asks of them.
Well.. some could say that this is for parents to talk about with their children. But, I agree with Chan here, the school must participate in educating our children on this topic. Children, particularly teens, are oftentimes reluctant to discuss anything sexual with their parents, but would be willing to talk about them with a more objective individual, eg. a respected teacher. On the otherhand, teachers can not discuss this with their students informally - the subject is too sensitive - but if schools designed frameworks to discuss these issues, it could only lead to positive results.
Rabbi Horowitz has updated his site with this piece - http://www.rabbihorowitz.com/PYes/ArticleDetails.cfm?Book_ID=729&ThisGroup_ID=261
I agree with SephardiLady that teachers may have the training to talk about this on their own with their students - but it is the school's responsibility to get in touch with JFCS or the local crisis center to make sure that they bring in a speaker for the students. It is also the school's obligation to create a zero tolerance policy and to run PD workshops on this important topic.
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I agree with SephardiLady that teachers may have the training to talk about this on their own with their students - but it is the school's responsibility to get in touch with JFCS or the local crisis center to make sure that they bring in a speaker for the students. It is also the school's obligation to create a zero tolerance policy and to run PD workshops on this important topic.
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